I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
