even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
