I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
