"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
