so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
