Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
