we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
