tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
