you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
