Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
