Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i now understand why vodka
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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