just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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