Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
