im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
