Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my being single is dangerous.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
