Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
