Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
