Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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