just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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