we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
