He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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