I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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