Define "chronic" masturbator.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
