So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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