Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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