So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
