you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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