just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
