There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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