Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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