garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
