Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's just like the Real World with babies
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
