I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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