I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
