we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
