so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
