1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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