Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
