Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
