how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
