Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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