Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
