I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
