omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
