The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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