apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
