Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
