I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Panties = found
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