weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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