Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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