is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
