I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
